Sermon – The Rev. Larry Smoose and The Rev. Leah Schade
Reformation Lutheran Church, Media, PA
“Holy Humor Sunday”
April 23, 2006
Props/Costumes:
* Two guitars – Furia??
* Darth Vader helmet -- ???
* Black robe - Smoose
* 2 Light sabers - Lucas/Grauer
* Crazy boxers – Grauer?
* Sign: “The End” -- Schade
* Sign: “Eight Days Later” – Schade
* Jesus robe – costumes are in balcony
* Crazy orange wigs for ushers and greeters – Schade
* Clown noses – Schade (Sunday School closet?)
* Sign – WELCOME TO “HOLY HUMOR SUNDAY” -- Smoose
* Hooks on either side of entrance, plywood 12” x 14” width, attach foam board to it to hang up for special notices. -- Smoose
Characters:
Announcer – Linda Furia
Wayne – Pastor Smoose
Garth – Pastor Schade
Chorus – Sacred Singers (8:30); Souls Afire (11:00)
Jesus – Eric Lucas
Darth Vader – Bill Grauer
Sign Holder – member of Chorus
Scene 1
(Wayne and Garth are seated on chairs at front of chancel holding guitars. Darth Vader and Jesus are waiting in the narthex brandishing light sabers.)
Announcer: And now . . . back by popular demand . . . Wayne and Garth from Wayne’s World!
W&G: Wayne’s World, Wayne’s World, party time, excellent! (High fives.)
Chorus: (wild applause)
Wayne: Hi, I’m Wayne Campbell and this is my friend, Garth. Party on, Garth!
Garth: Party on, Wayne! (W&G high-five)
Wayne: You know, two weeks ago we weren’t partying at all.
Garth: Too true, my friend, too true. I remember well that Black Friday when the Big J.C. was engaged in a cosmic battle with the forces of evil.
Wayne: Let’s review.
W&G: Doodly-doo, doodly-doo . . .
Scene 2
(W&G sing the Darth Vader theme, while Darth Vader and Jesus come down the aisle, dueling with their light sabers. Ad lib “duel dialogue”. At the front of the steps of the chancel, they continue to battle until D.V. brings J.C. to his knees. They hold their light sabers in the shape of a cross, J.C. utters an anguished cry and collapses.)
DV: I finally got him this time – he’s come to the dark side! The dark side of death! (does evil laugh).
W&G: NO!!
Chorus: (While these lines are spoken, DV shrouds JC in black cloak and leads him backstage – sacristy). He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried. He descended into hell.
Wayne: Man, that was a total buzz-killer. I’m so depressed. I think I just need some time to myself. You know, to contemplate the existential meaning of my existence.
Garth: Man - hat’s heavy. But I understand. I’ll see you later.
(Wayne exits.)
Garth: (to Chorus) You know what we need, guys? We need to have a wake to celebrate Jesus’ life.
Chorus: Totally, dude!
Garth: Ready? Jesus’ World, Jesus’ World, party time, excellent!
(Jesus comes from sacristy, dancing to the music. Chorus and Garth point at him in amazement.)
Garth: Jesus, dude - how do you just appear like that?
Jesus: Garth, dude – I’m totally resurrected!
Garth: Awesome, dude
(Jesus high-fives Garth and members of the Chorus, then goes back to sacristy.)
Wayne: (re-entering from off-stage) Sorry I missed the wake last night. How did it go?
Garth: You wouldn’t believe it! We saw Jesus! Jesus came to be part of his own wake!
Wayne: No way!
Garth: Way!
Wayne: No way!
Garth and Chorus: Way!
Wayne: I’ve got to see him myself. I’ve got to put my fingers in the marks of his hands and in his side, or I won’t believe it.
Garth: Dude – you are such a Doubting Thomas! You just wait – he’ll be back.
Chorus: (sings the “Jeopardy” theme)
Sign Holder: (stands up and holds up sign) “Eight Days Later”
Wayne: See I told ya. We’ve been waiting here eight days. He’s not coming.
Garth: I don’t know why Jesus hasn’t appeared again. Maybe he only parties on Sundays.
Wayne: Well, today’s Sunday. Where is he?
Garth: Hey, I know! (to Chorus) You guys remember how we got him here last time? Wayne, grab your guitar!
W&G: Jesus’ World, Jesus’ World, party time, excellent!
Jesus: (reappearing from sacristy) Did somebody say party?
Wayne: Jesus! No way!
Jesus: Way!
Wayne: No way!
Jesus: Way! (pointing up) Yahweh! So, Wayne - you want to check me out, right? Wanna put your fingers in the marks and touch my side, right?
Wayne: Jesus, dude - how d’you know that?
Jesus: Hello? I am Jesus!
Wayne: (looking at Jesus’ hands) Yo, these are not tattoos. This is the real deal! (falls on knees in worship) My Lord and my God!
Jesus: (in South Philly voice) So you’se guys believe in me ‘cause you seen me?
(in deep, reverent voice with hands folded in prayer position) Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.
Wayne: Oh, man, that’s . . .
W&G: . . . deep (hand motion).
Chorus: (Jesus exits walking backwards with arms raised to heaven. Disappears to sacristy while Chorus is speaking.) On the third day he rose again. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the father. He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
W&G: Flashback’s over! Doodly-doo, doodly-doo . . .
Scene 3
Wayne: That was pretty unbelievable.
Garth: Actually, that is what made Easter very believable.
Wayne: But I’ve always wondered about one thing. How did Jesus defeat the devil? What do you think happened when he descended into hell?
Garth: Let’s do an alternative ending!
Wayne: Yeah, let’s do the “Scooby Doo” Ending!
W&G: Doodly-doo, doodly-doo . . .
Scene 4
(DV and JC re-enter from sacristy and assume “crucifixion” position)
DV: I finally got him this time – he’s come to the dark side! The dark side of death! (does evil laugh).
Jesus: (to audience) He just thinks he’s got me. Watch this! (Gets up, motions “sshh” to audience and proceeds to “pants” Darth).
Darth: (looks down at himself, drops light saber and tried to cover his flowered boxers with his hands)
Jesus: Looks like I got you, Darth!
Wayne: Let’s see who’s really behind the mask. (Takes mask off of Vader). Gasp! – it was just Old Man Grauer all along!
Darth: You meddling kids!
Jesus: (turns Vader around – “The End” sign is on his butt. Jesus looks at the sign). Nice ending! (wait for laughter to die down) Remember - he who laughs last, laughs best!
Garth: Excellent ending, Wayne!
Wayne: Party on, Garth!
Garth: Party on, Wayne!
W&G: Wayne’s World, Wayne’s World, party time, excellent!
Wayne: Excellent show, Garth.
Garth: Excellent show, Wayne. (High fives.)
Chorus: (wild applause)