Sermon - “The Brother’s Response” - The Prodigal Son, Part 2
The Rev. Leah D. Schade
August 13, 2006
Texts: Luke 15:11b-32
We’re
not so different, you know. My younger brother and me. We both left
our father’s house. He was greedy and foolish. But I left because
of my pride.
I left that very day of the party, the day my brother came home. At
first, I thought I was angry at my brother. That ungrateful little
ne’er-do-well. But, no, the person I was really angry with was my
father. I just could not believe he would welcome home that son of his,
after what he’d done. Squandered everything. Took it all for
granted. I knew I couldn’t share a house with them at that point. I
couldn’t sit down to a meal with them without choking on my food.
So I left.
If this is what kind of father you are, I told him, I want no parts of
it. You had me all this time and you took me for granted. You want
your younger son back so bad, fine. But you’re losing your
eldest.
I took only my clothes with me when I left. I didn’t ask for any
inheritance, like that irresponsible younger brother of mine. No sir, I
intended to live frugally, independently, to prove to my father that I did not
need him.
And that’s exactly what I did. And let me tell you, it was a struggle.
That famine lasted a long time. But I was smart. I knew how to
manage an estate. It’s what I was trained to do. I very quickly
found a household in need of a manager, and they hired me on the
spot.
Of course I became very successful. I was well-respected. The owner
of that estate knew I ran a tight ship. I made the rules. I made
sure people followed the rules. And if you messed up, out you went.
My motto: Life is too short for second chances.
I had the highest expectations, and got the best results. And don’t think
that I didn’t expect any less of myself. There’s was nothing that I
required of my employees that I didn’t require of myself. In fact, I held
myself to the highest standards of them all. No one could look at
me and call me a slacker. No sir. No one could accuse me of being
lazy, or say that I wasn’t pulling my weight. I did more than my fair
share. I only wished my father had been able to appreciate that.
Looking back now, I will say that my success did cost me something. I had
very little time to enjoy myself. Not that I thought that much of it at
the time, I was always so busy. And not that I would have had anyone to
enjoy it with. Being that driven also drove me away from anyone who would
want to get close to me.
And I guess you could say it cost me my health. My younger brother may
have been addicted to pleasure. But I was addicted to work. I have
the heart condition and the ulcers to prove it.
I think maybe I drove myself so hard just to spite my father. I’ll tell
you, holding a grudge can be a seductive illusion of power. I was using
my rage to empower myself. It was like a fire inside of me that gave me
energy. What I didn’t realize is that it was also burning me up inside,
physically, emotionally and, I guess, spiritually.
Not that I’ve ever been that spiritual. I’ve never had time for religion
and all that “pie in the sky by and by” stuff. But there did come a point
in my life when I began questioning things. You know, as you get older,
your priorities change. Things begin to shift a little in your
head. And this nagging question kept creeping into my brain: What
do you do when you have it all . . . and realize that you have nothing?
That’s about the time when something happened to me that . . well, it
changed me. There was this roaming prophet around these parts who had
been quite a rabble rouser. I’d heard him preach a few times. I swear he
and my father must have been cut from the same cloth. Always hanging out
with the dregs of society, welcoming them, eating with them, partying with
them. I never liked that guy. In fact, I was glad when they
arrested him. I thought that would put him in his place, teach him a
lesson, get him to calm down a little.
What I didn’t expect was to see him paraded before the crowds, with everyone
shouting out for him to be crucified. I mean, I didn’t agree with him,
but I certainly didn’t think they ought to kill him for what he preached.
But that’s exactly what they did. I watched him carry that cross all the
way to the dump at Calvary. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t tear myself
away as I saw them hammer those nails into his wrists and feet, and hoist him
up on those wooden planks. I just stood and stared at him. And I
had the most awful vision. I looked at him . . . and saw my father’s
face. And I saw my own face on those Roman soldiers, on those
Pharisees gathered around, mocking the prophet as he hung there, gasping for
breath.
And then I heard him say something like, “Father, forgive them, for they know
not what they do.” And I began to weep. And I just started
running. I ran down the hill, away from that place, past the city gate,
all the way to the field behind my father’s house. I stood in the exact
spot where I last spoke to my father, so many years ago.
And for the first time, I saw things clearly. I saw just how similar I
was to my younger brother. Both of us cut ourselves off from the love of
our father. He thought he could find what he needed in material things
I thought I could find what I needed in my success and my favored position.
Both of us squandered our father’s love. He took it for granted,
devalued it, wasted it. And I did exactly the same thing - I wasted the
time I did spent with my father by not learning the true nature of his
love. I had him all those years and took him for granted.
And we both found ourselves in the midst of a famine.
My brother was cut off from physical food. But I was cut off from
spiritual and emotional nourishment.
And, ironically, both of us were out in a field when we were confronted with
the inner darkness inside of us. He was out in some pig field. And
it was happening for me right here in my father’s field.
Both my brother and I were lost, although for different reasons. You see,
my younger brother’s plight was so easy to see. Pigs and pods . . . it
doesn’t get much worse than that. It was plain to see where he was and
what he needed to do.
But in some ways, I was more lost than he was. And I knew, standing there in
that field, that it would take an even bigger miracle for me, because I was
stubbornly determined not be found. I didn’t foolishly wander away from
the flock. I deliberately stepped outside and made my own hierarchical
flock, so that I could play God and mete out punishment the way I saw fit.
I made an idol of my status. I was so strongly attached to being the
favored child, the one who would surely be given the big party someday because
I’ve paid my dues, walked the line, stayed on the straight and narrow. And what
did I have now except my pride and my rules and my lonely, ulcerated
success?
I realized in that moment that God had led me to Calvary for a reason that day
-- to come face to face with the demon within myself, and understand that I
didn’t know how to get rid of it on my own. I had to encounter God in the
darkness there. I had to learn that the darkness is where God is.
Standing in that field, something told me that I had let go of something.
But I wasn’t sure what it was or how to do it. After so many years of
being chained to this self-righteous rage, how could I move myself away from
needing to be right all the time? How could I open myself up to that love
and forgiveness that my father so generously gave to my brother? That the
prophet had so unbelievably given to his killers? But not only could I
not forgive others, I couldn’t even forgive myself. I had to be perfect,
all the time. I couldn’t accept their love, because it was an imperfect
love.
I finally realized that the only way was to go back to my father. I
remembered his words to me out there in the field on that fateful day so many
years ago. He did not chastise or punish me for what I was feeling.
He took it all in, and then he tried to show me where he wanted me to be.
He tried to soften my heart. He tried to show me the depth and breadth of
his love. But I could listen then. I ran away.
But not this time. I couldn’t get that image of the cross or the
prophet’s voice out of my head. So I knew what I had to do. I had
my speech all prepared:
“Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you [because I have presumed
to be judge and jury over both you and my brother];
I am no longer worthy to be called your son [because I have cut myself off from
you, insulted you with my arrogance];
But I want to come home. Treat me like one of your hired hands [because I
realize that only with that kind of humbleness will I truly be able to
experience your love]. I just want to come home.”
With those words in my head, I began walking across the field towards my
father’s house. As I approached the porch, I saw my father come
out. He looked much older now. His hair was a shimmering white, and
he was stooped a bit. But he came ou to me, walking as fast as he could
with his cane. And he put his arms around me and he kissed him. I
began my speech: “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you . .
.” But he cut me off, calling out for a robe to be brought, and the
fatted calf to be killed, and . .. well, I finally got the party I’d
always wanted! Tears were streaming down his face as he said, “You were
dead and is alive again; you were lost but now you’re found!”
So does my story have a happy ending? Honestly, I’m not sure yet.
To tell you the truth, I haven’t totally forgiven my brother. I still
don’t like him very much. But we’ve . . . come to an
understanding. And there are times when I feel incredible guilt for how I
acted toward my father. But he treats both of us the same. He has
accepted both of us, demons and all, blessed us, held us, and released
us.
It will probably take the rest of my life to work through this. Even
after we have that moment of self-reckoning, when we “come to ourselves”, it
doesn’t end there. It takes a long time to live it out from there.
I still don’t understand it all. I don’t understand how my father could
love both us so dearly, so equally. I don’t understand why that prophet
had to die on that cross. And I don’t understand the rumors floating around
that he’s somehow been risen from the dead.
All I know is I have tasted forgiveness. And I cling to the words of that
prophet, to the words of my father, every day of my life. I’m not some
saint, by any means. I can still be an arrogant jerk and perfectionist
when that demon gets the best of me.
But my father seems to understand me, with all my faults. And he loves me
anyway. And that love helps me to look that demon in the eye and embrace
it, bless it and release it, no matter how many times it rears its ugly
head. I guess if my father can give me a second chance, I have to change
my motto. And I guess I can give myself one as well.
Like I said, my story doesn’t have a “happily ever after.” But it does
have a fresh, “Once upon a time,” waiting for me, every day.
Sources:
Wink, Walter; Unmasking the Powers, Fortress Press, Philadelphia, 1986
Estes, Clarissa Pinkola, Women Who Run With the Wolves, 1992, 1995,
Ballantine Books, New York